"BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER"

"STAYIN' ALIVE"

 

Written by

Justin McFarr

 

Stick A Fork In Me Prods.

Registered: WGAw

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"BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER"

 

"STAYIN' ALIVE"

 

TEASER

 

FADE IN:

EXT. SUNNYDALE HIGH SCHOOL - COURTYARD - DAY

The entire school is assembled around the main quad. PRINCIPAL SNYDER approaches a makeshift podium to address his minions... er, students.

BUFFY stands among her crew of WILLOW, XANDER, CORDELIA and OZ. Willow is beside herself with excitement. The others look extremely bored.

 

WILLOW

Isn't this the best? A historic event, right here at Sunnydale.

 

XANDER

Do you get extra credit just for being peppy?

 

Snyder looks out over the student body, contempt on his face.

 

SNYDER

As we prepare to revisit our past, that waste of a decade known

as the seventies, I feel a... special... moment is at hand

and -- Philips, put that cigarette out immediately -- and I

wish to -- oh, never mind, just open the damn thing.

 

He points to a plaque, underneath which lies a metal lid encased in concrete. TWO JANITORS pry it open. The lid is unsealed, releasing a burst of air. A half-hearted round of applause from the students.

 

SNYDER (Cont'd)

Each of you will be given an object from this time capsule for

one week. During that time, you will all decide what item

from your own fascinating personal lives you will choose to put

back into the capsule, to be opened twenty years from today.

Now line up. And no shoving.

 

Snyder quickly abandons the podium, making a bee line for a student, shoving his way past other students.

 

SNYDER

Philips, don't walk away from me!

 

The janitors heave the time capsule out of the ground.

Buffy and the gang move into line.

 

WILLOW

Isn't this exciting?

 

BUFFY

Yeah, I'm all goosebumpy.

 

CORDELIA

What's this about having to hold onto somebody else's thing for

a week? Am I the only one who's creeped out by that?

 

As the line progresses, MS. FROST, a kindly, conservatively-dressed teacher in her late forties, comes into view. She hands students the time capsule objects.

 

OZ

Not all bad. We get a dance out of it. The seventies had some

pretty stellar tunes.

 

CORDELIA

And since I'll be in charge of the dance committee, you'll hear

all of those songs. And more.

 

XANDER

For the love of God, no Karaoke!

 

CORDELIA

Hardly. I've hired DJ Disco Dan. He comes very highly recommended.

 

BUFFY

Sounds like an event definitely worth avoiding. Think I'll find

something to slay that night. Anything.

 

WILLOW

Ooh, we can dress in funky clothes and get... funky.

(to Oz)

I like to get funky.

 

OZ

I didn't know that about you. I'm picking up that this is a

good thing.

 

CORDELIA

Seventies fashion is so... this minute. Both Vogue and Cosmo

can't be wrong.

 

WILLOW

Somebody might have put a piece of their wardrobe in the

time capsule.

 

XANDER

Or their wallet. Seventies moula is always welcome.

 

ANGLE: HIGHER GROUND

On the roof of a building across the street, a figure watches the activity below. MIKEY RIVERTON, a thirty-eight-year-old, pudgy, sunken-eyed man, is fixated on the time capsule. His face is bathed in agitation.

 

BUFFY (O.S.)

My unsolicited thought for the day -- Once something's buried,

it should stay buried.

 

CUT TO:

 

EXT. ABANDONED FIELD - NIGHT

A pile of dirt flies up out of a large hole. A beat, then a shovel is propelled from the hole.

A CREAKING noise breaks the silence of the night. Mikey pokes his head out of the hole, then lifts himself out. Looks down into the excavated earth.

 

MIKEY

Time to wake up.

 

Mikey, a sheepish grin on his face, backs away from the hole as a figure emerges.

Eighteen-years-old, with jet-black hair, blue eyes, and wearing a white three-piece polyester suit, TONY PANTERO raises himself up beside Mikey. He brushes dirt off of himself.

When he speaks, it is with a heavy BROOKLYN ACCENT.

 

TONY

Mikey, the man with the plan. How you doing?

 

MIKEY

We may have a bit of a problem.

 

TONY

First things first. You got it?

 

MIKEY

The amulet? Well, about that --

 

TONY

No. You got it?

 

Mikey reaches into his jacket, pulls out a hairbrush, sealed in a plastic bag. Tony lovingly takes it. Unravels it from the bag, caresses the bristles with his fingertips.

 

MIKEY

Just how you left it, Tony.

 

Tony throws out his arms, rolls his neck, then begins to groom his coif. He lets out a pleasurable moan as the brush runs through his hair.

 

TONY

Oh, yeah.

(beat)

It's good to be back. I'm so hungry, I could eat all of Sunnydale.

(he grins)

Now there's an idea.

 

His face morphs into vamp-mode. He bares his fangs and with his left hand on his hip and his right arm thrust heavenward, he strikes a disco pose.

BLACK OUT.

 

END OF TEASER