"NYPD BLUE"
"Life in the Crass Lane"
Written by
Justin McFarr
Stick A Fork In Me Prods.
Registered: WGAw
"NYPD BLUE"
"LIFE IN THE CRASS LANE"
FADE IN:
EXT. GHETTO NEIGHBORHOOD - EARLY MORNING
The small residential block is taped off on both sides. Squad cars on the scene. Uniforms handle crowd control.
A silver Mercedes-Benz sits half in the street, half on the sidewalk. Bullet holes peppered through the windshield. More bullets through the window and door of the passenger side. Glass and blood on the sidewalk.
SIPOWICZ's sedan enters the crime area. SIMONE approaches the car as Sipowicz parks --
SIPOWICZ
(out of the vehicle)
Little early, ain't it?
SIMONE
You know how the night tour is. Why bust their nut when they
can wrench us outta bed an hour or two early.
OFFICER MIKE SHANNON, first on the scene, intercepts --
OFFICER SHANNON
Detectives.
SIPOWICZ
What's doing here?
OFFICER SHANNON
Got a drive-by, half hour ago. Vics already at county, five
in all. No fatalities, but one was shot up pretty good.
SIMONE
This a neighborhood car? Home-turf targets?
OFFICER SHANNON
Don't think so. Car's a rental.
SIPOWICZ
There goes their deposit.
OFFICER SHANNON
The one who got the brunt of it, over the passenger side,
he's some kind of rapper. The driver, also took a coupla
shots, said they're from Philly.
SIMONE
The guy was driving -- we got a name?
OFFICER SHANNON
(flips a notepad page)
Dominic Odom. Says he's the manager. Rap guy goes by
Zeezer B.
SIPOWICZ
Zeezer B.? Sounds like something I'd name one of my
bowel movements.
He looks out into the black faces that make up the crowd of onlookers --
SIPOWICZ (CONT'D)
Any of these geniuses see anything?
Officer Shannon shakes his head --
SIPOWICZ (CONT'D)
'Course not.
SIMONE
(to Sipowicz)
Wanna try to pull something outta the crowd?
SIPOWICZ
Be my guest.
He follows his partner to the sidewalk. They step over the police tape. Approach a group of young black men --
SIMONE
Excuse us, fellas? Did any of you see what happened out here?
The group glance up at the detectives, then they disperse, all heading off in various directions.
As their numbers dwindle down to one, a TEENAGE BOY conspiratorially leans towards Sipowicz.
TEENAGE BOY
You lookin' to talk with someone was here when it went down?
Check out that nigga over there.
He points at a bum in tattered clothes, going through a garbage can --
SIPOWICZ
That guy?
TEENAGE BOY
(nods)
Betcha he saw something.
He walks off as they approach BROOKS, the bum --
SIPOWICZ
Excuse me, sir, you got a minute for us?
Brooks, a chicken bone in one hand and a greasy newspaper in the other, turns to them --
BROOKS
(babbling)
I got my eats, nobody else's, no ma'am, 'bout got a whore
take me 'round to the alley but she thought better of it.
He laughs maniacally, showing off rotted teeth --
BROOKS (CONT'D)
She sure did, one look at me, she knew, yep, knew all about
the trip out back to the Wild West --
He continues to babble and gnaw on the bone as Sipowicz turns and walks away --
SIPOWICZ
Yeah, he saw something, all right. His sanity waving bye-bye
just before it got on a choo-choo train to Wackoville.
Simone takes a glance back at the lunatic on the fringe, off which --
SMASH CUT TO:
MAIN TITLES
EXT. 15TH PRECINCT - DAY
To establish --
INT. COFFEE ROOM - MORNING
KIRKENDALL pours herself a cup of freshly-brewed. RUSSELL leans on the windowsill, eating a breakfast bar.
KIRKENDALL
Cleared the case late last night. Twenty-year-old kid
confessed to all three murders.
RUSSELL
He shot those people in movie theaters, right?
KIRKENDALL
We thought it was gang-related. Turned out he did it
'cause they wouldn't stop talking during the picture.
(beat)
I can see that.
FANCY leads BERNARD THIBIDEAU, a tall Adonis in his early thirties, into the room --
FANCY
Jill ... Diane ... This is Bernard Thibideau. He's on
the Chief's detail, here to do some research for a manual.
THIBIDEAU
(a gorgeous smile)
A department-wide handbook, actually.
Fancy just wants to unload the guy --
FANCY
Right. I was hoping that Detective Kirkendall and
Detective Russell could help get you started.
Both women obviously taken with him, they nod their heads --
RUSSELL KIRKENDALL
Sure, boss. We could do that.
FANCY
Great.
(to Thibideau)
They'll get you whatever you need.
THIBIDEAU
Thank you, Lieutenant.
He exits. Kirkendall points to the coffee pot --
KIRKENDALL
Can I get you some coffee?
THIBIDEAU
Thanks, but I'll get it.
He picks up the coffee pot, moves to Kirkendall --
THIBIDEAU (CONT'D)
Warm you up?
Kirkendall throws a side-long smirk at Russell, holds out her cup as he pours --
CUT TO:
EXT. BELLEVUE HOSPITAL - DAY
To establish --
INT. HOSPITAL - FOURTH FLOOR - DAY
Sipowicz and Simone enter a semi-circular waiting cubicle. Inside, three black men, all in their early twenties, look up at the detectives. G-BANK, R.J. and TONE are tense, nervous and over-tired --
SIMONE
(shows the shield)
I'm Detective Simone, this is Detective Sipowicz. Want to
ask you a few questions about the shooting.
R.J.
(stops pacing)
Have you found the ones who did this to Zeezer?
SIMONE
We're still in the process of gathering some information.
Anything you fellas could tell us about what went down
this morning?
Tone and G-Bank glare at him, then look away --
SIPOWICZ
You could help us out by giving a description of that
car put your boy in his present state.
As R.J. starts pacing again --
G-BANK
We didn't see nothing, and this whole thing got zero
to do with you!
SIPOWICZ
You need to bring that down a notch, realize we're trying
to help find whoever shot up your little rap star buddy.
G-BANK
(in his face)
You disrespectin' us, donut-boy?
SIPOWICZ
You don't stand off right now, they're gonna be changing
bed pans on what's left of you!
G-Bank stares, considering. As he backs off --
SIMONE
Where's the driver? Dominic?
SIPOWICZ
(crooks his thumb)
That him?
DOMINIC ODOM, a muscular, blonde-haired, blue-eyed guy in his twenties, a sling around his left arm, approaches --
DOMINIC
Wha's up, y'all? Zeez still in intensive, but I got me
a special request in with the man upstairs. Allah's looking
out for our homey.
R.J.
You saw Zeezer? He's gonna be all right?
As Simone tins Dominic --
SIMONE
We're New York detectives. You're Dominic?
DOMINIC
Big D, tha's me.
R.J.
How's he doing, Dom? Is he going to pull through?
Dominic pulls R.J. aside, out of earshot --
SIPOWICZ
(to Simone)
The guy is white, isn't he?
SIMONE
Looks like it to me, Andy.
SIPOWICZ
Then how come he's talkin' like that?
Dominic sits R.J. down, raps a closed right fist against his heart, signifying "peace." Turns, exits the cubicle --
DOMINIC
Detectives. Walk with me.
Sipowicz and Simone exchange a glance. They follow him down the hall --
SIPOWICZ
(impatient)
You wanna tell us what happened?
DOMINIC
Here's the lick, gentlemen. We was all comin' back from
a fly little house party ... you know, tons of girlies
and the like ... when this Jag pulls up on us and lets
loose with the firepower.
SIMONE
A Jaguar? You happen to get a plate number?
DOMINIC
Nah. Listen, it was dark, I was still a little
toasted ... I'm 'a fess up to that right now ... so
I didn't get the best look. But a Jag, that's solid.
Gray or light blue, maybe.
SIPOWICZ
You get a look at the shooter?
DOMINIC
Wish I could say I did. Niggas came outta nowhere. They
did they damage, then bolted.
SIMONE
The shooters ... they were black?
DOMINIC
What'd I say, yeah.
SIPOWICZ
You got any idea who it might've been? You guys piss
anybody off lately?
DOMINIC
We ain't even from these parts. Out from Philly to
promote the new CD, do some gigs and all that.
He takes a beat, shakes his head --
DOMINIC (CONT'D)
Don't know who would want to harm my man Zeez.
SIMONE
No enemies? What about someone from the party?
DOMINIC
Was a small little thang. Nobody we didn't already know.
SIMONE
We're gonna have to get the names of everybody at that
party.
SIPOWICZ
And your buddies in the waiting room, we'll need to talk
to them. Any chance you can persuade them into being
a tad more cooperative?
DOMINIC
The fellas have minds of they own. Me, I'm happy to hook
you up with any of the four-one-one I got.
SIPOWICZ
Any chance you can speak plain --
SIMONE
(to Dominic)
Whatever information you have would be helpful.
(hands him a notepad)
Write down where we can reach you.
DOMINIC
We'll be right here so long as Zeezer's out of commish.
But I'll give you my pager, cell and all other pertinents.
Dominic writes on the pad --
DOMINIC
This a damn shame, all this here. Zeez was lookin' forward
to kickin' it freestyle tonight at the club. The fans
gonna be devastated.
As Sipowicz pulls Simone away --
SIPOWICZ
Me, I had tickets, and I'm beside myself with disappointment.
Off which --
CUT TO:
EXT. 15TH PRECINCT - DAY
To establish --
INT. SQUAD ROOM - MORNING
MARTINEZ and MEDAVOY are at the back, doing paperwork.
Russell stands by a file cabinet with Thibideau.
The front desk phone rings --
ANGLE - CATCHING AREA
DOLORES MAYO, the P.A.A., answers the phone --
DOLORES
(into phone)
Fifteenth Detective squad ... Yes, Sergeant, I'll see
about that.
She puts down the phone. Looks up at the Catching Board. She catches Russell's eye --
DOLORES
(hesitantly)
Detective?
RUSSELL
You need me, Dolores?
DOLORES
Desk Sergeant downstairs. He says there's a gentleman
who would like to speak with a detective.
Russell moves towards Dolores and the door, glancing at the Board --
RUSSELL
I'll take it.
(to Thibideau)
You can handle it from here?
Thibideau smiles and nods. Dolores watches Russell exit. As Thibideau opens a file, Dolores smoothes out her dress and slinks towards him, purpose in her eyes --
INT. FIRST FLOOR - CONTINUOUS
Russell gets to the bottom of the steps. Looks over to the DESK SERGEANT, who points at a guy on a bench.
Russell approaches LARRY FONDANE, a wiry, unwashed, nervous little man. This skell is the epitome of "hinky." Bad vibes all over him --
RUSSELL
I'm Detective Russell. You wanted to speak with someone?
LARRY
No. No. Not just someone. A detective. Which is what you
identified yourself to be. Correct?
RUSSELL
Yes, sir. What can I do for you?
Larry's beady eyeballs dart around the room. His foot repeatedly taps the floor, fingers pick at his lips --
LARRY
Upstairs. Outta here. All kinds of trouble, I stay seated
in this location. The wrong people could be listening, if
you follow my meaning.
RUSSELL
You wanna go upstairs? Come on, let's go upstairs.
She climbs the stairs to the second floor, Larry following close on her heels --
TIME CUT TO:
INT. SQUAD ROOM - MORNING
Thibideau leans on Sipowicz' desk, facing Dolores at her desk.
THIBIDEAU
So, you've been here a few months now. You must know the
detectives fairly well.
DOLORES
Sure. I know pretty much everything that goes on in here.
With the a.m. shift, at least.
Dolores looks up as Russell pokes her head in the doorway.
Russell calls to Martinez and Medavoy --
RUSSELL
Hey, fellas? You got a minute?
They approach the Catching Area, off which --
TIME CUT TO:
INT. INTERVIEW TWO - MORNING
Martinez shuts the door to the room. The three detectives look at Larry, who sits at the lone table.
Russell takes a seat near him --
RUSSELL
You wanna tell these detectives what you just told me?
LARRY
I don't have the time to do this, Miss Lady Detective. You
gotta protect me. That's all they need to know.
RUSSELL
Mr. Fondane, you're in no danger here.
Getting animated with his hand gestures --
LARRY
I know there are cops here, uniformed officers to be
exact, who are on his payroll. No way that ain't
a factual.
RUSSELL
Mr. Fondane, please.
Larry's tone changing, softening --
LARRY
Larry. Call me Larry. Please, everyone calls me Larry.
My mother gave me that name. It was her choice. It's a
good name. Strong, yet somewhat lilting. Like my mother.
As Russell tries to hold onto her patience --
RUSSELL
Larry, I want you to tell me again what you were concerned
about when you walked into this precinct.
Back to his nervous gesturing --
LARRY
Was? Did you say was? No. No. I am. Concerned, yes.
I am very concerned. Understand, this was no ordinary lady
I knocked over. No, I couldn't just bap your garden
variety, varicose-veined old hag. I've gotta get Manetti's
old hag. Yeah, this is my luck. This is the dumb luck
I always fall into!
MARTINEZ
Manetti? Are you talking about Paolo Manetti? The wiseguy?
LARRY
You know the man, I see. And I'm correct in assuming that
you are taking payments from him, is that right? I'm dead.
Jesus-Christ-with-a-nickel-plated-crucifix, I'm a dead man.
RUSSELL
Relax, Larry. Nobody in this squad is on anybody's take.
Now let's get back to what happened with Manetti's mother.
LARRY
The old hag. Hadda have her purse just dangling on her
wrinkled little arm like that. Beggin' to be snatched.
I couldn't resist. Like seeing a five dollar bill lying
in the street. You're gonna pick it up, am I right? Well,
she's like this five-spot. So I take it.
MARTINEZ
You stole Mrs. Manetti's purse?
LARRY
I'm saying, yeah. Only how am I supposed to be
knowledgeable to that disastrous kernel of information?
That this little old Italian Mama Calzone, who I
unwittingly choose to victimize, is mama to the biggest
mob boss in all of the great state of New York. I
couldn't. Only this is Larry's law, as I've come to
christen it.
As Medavoy smiles, getting into it --
MEDAVOY
Like Murphy's Law, is that it?
LARRY
That's right. Except it's Larry's law, which is a whole
other kind of monster.
RUSSELL
Larry, you wanna speed things up for us?
LARRY
That I can do. Sure. Okay, so, in the process of stealing
her belongings, I kinda knock her to the ground. This
results in what appears to be a broken hip and perhaps
also a bloody nose, on her part. That's when I recognize
her to be Manetti's mama.
RUSSELL
So you'd seen her before?
LARRY
When I was working for Manetti, yeah. She would come
into his joint to get fed. Once he had me take a meal to
her, over her house. Of course you would think that I
coulda figured out who it was before she hit the pavement.
But no, it dawns on me after. By then, I've stuck around
long enough to let everyone in that neighborhood eyeball me.
(takes a breath, for effect)
This is a prime example of Larry's law.
MEDAVOY
So, you don't figure that law to be such a good thing, huh?
Off Larry, crinkling his brow at Medavoy --
INT. SQUAD ROOM - LATE MORNING
Simone joins the discussion with Fancy and Sipowicz --
FANCY
His manager couldn't give you a license number?
SIMONE
He gave a description of the car, but none of Zeezer's
crew could make the shooters.
Thibideau hovers nearby, within earshot --
SIPOWICZ
Least not any kind of I.D. they'd wanna share with us.
And this manager. You don't wanna get me started.
Fancy throws Simone a quizzical look --
SIMONE
The guy's a real character, is all, Boss.
SIPOWICZ
Said he was going to pick up the wife of the rap guy,
soon as she got in off the train.
Kirkendall gets up from her desk, moves towards the Locker Room --
FANCY
A train?
SIMONE
This Zeezer is a real low-rent, indie label rapper. They
probably shot their entire load on the rental car.
SIPOWICZ
We'll look at the wife, though, see if she don't gain
nothing financial-wise if the rap master don't pull through.
FANCY
Anything else?
SIPOWICZ
Spent the better part of the morning gettin' dick out of
the people from Zeezer's farewell party. Bunch of drunks
and hopheads, doing their best not to live past this century.
As Kirkendall joins in --
KIRKENDALL
You guys on the Zeezer B. case?
SIMONE
Yeah. You know who he is?
KIRKENDALL
My boys listen to him. He's not bad, for being from Philly.
You should give him a listen. His lyrics can get crude at
times, but he has a poetic streak in him, too.
She moves past them, into the Locker Room --
SIPOWICZ
Did she say poetic ... or pathetic?
FANCY
You be sure to let me know if you find anyone you like on
this shooting.
SIMONE
Sure, Loo.
As Fancy heads to his office, he passes Thibideau, who quickly busies himself with a notebook --
SIMONE
I'm gonna run those party-goers' names through B.C.I.
SIPOWICZ
Toss in Zeezer's "homeboys" from the hospital, too.
I wanna know if that manager's ever been arrested for
impersonatin' a Caucasian.
Sipowicz looks over at Thibideau, who stares at him. Sipowicz gives him a smirk and a cock-eyed wave. Thibideau misinterprets the gesture and approaches, extending his hand --
THIBIDEAU
Hi, Detective. I'm Bernard Thibideau, with the Chief's office.
Sipowicz sizes him up, but doesn't shake his hand --
SIPOWICZ
How's it going?
Thibideau lingers, his hand still out to Sipowicz. An awkward moment passes as Simone looks up and extends his own hand --
SIMONE
(shaking hands)
Bobby Simone, good to meet you.
THIBIDEAU
Just thought I'd ... come on over and introduce myself.
SIMONE
Glad you did.
Thibideau trails off, glancing back once with a friendly smile. As Sipowicz turns to Simone --
SIPOWICZ
I.A.B., am I right?
Simone shrugs --
SIMONE
You got me, Andy. He looks okay.
SIPOWICZ
He was listening to us. Earlier. My money says he's with
Internal Affairs, snoopin' on us here.
The phone on Sipowicz' desk rings --
SIPOWICZ (CONT'D)
Sipowicz ... Just now? ... Thanks.
Putting down the phone --
SIPOWICZ (CONT'D)
Rap guy just expired. Looks like Zeezer's catching some
serious z's right about now.
FADE OUT.
END ACT ONE